smiles and tears
by Synesthesiae
Summary: it's hard to say it when you're not dealing with death, but when confronted with it, the truth just comes out naturally, and this is the moment of truth for both of them. (may contain spoilers!)


_I won't drink it… I won't drink it… I can't!_

Ritsuko thought weakly as her best friend cowered in the far corner of the jail, hugging herself with tears streaming down her face.

"Ricchan, please no…" the older woman was whimpering with fear in her eyes. She looked like she was trying to stay as far away from her as she could in the relatively small space.

Ritsuko only stared at her best friend. She was sprawling on the ground, all tired and beat. Her limps weren't working properly as if they're lacking oxygen, yet there was a lot of oxygen around.

No, it wasn't oxygen that she was craving. It was human blood, and there was this human just a few feet from her, so easily within her grasp.

"Ritsuko!" a voice was calling her. It was Tohru, she realized. Glancing up, she saw him standing on the other side of the bars, grabbing and pressing again them as he shouted, "Drink her blood or you're going to die!"

_Right. _She smiled weakly. _I'm no longer human, am I? I'm a… a shiki? Right, I'm a monster, and I have to kill to live…_

Veins of blood were easily seen on Yasuyo's body with the aid of the shiki eye, and Ritsuku could feel them calling for her, taunting her, coaxing her, inviting her in. Ritsuko struggled to push up to crawl over. Her hunger was blinding her.

"No! Ricchan, please!" the woman cried, hugging herself tighter and pressing herself further against the wall. "Please… Ricchan. I know you're still in there. You're a good person, don't forget that. You've helped save so many lives..." Tears were freely pouring down her best friend's face, and it snapped Ritsuko out of her stupor.

"Ritsuko…"

Ritsuko sat up, folded her arms on her bent knees and looked up at Tohru with eyes that had bags under them. "I won't do it, Tohru," she said softly. "I'm a nurse. I help people, not kill them." A gentle smile graced her lips. "I won't do it."

"You're crazy!" Tohru was yelling. He was crying, too, and that brought tears to Ritsuko's sunken eyes. "You're going to die. Don't you understand, Ritsuko? You're going to…" He was choking with emotions and tears. His hands gripped the metal bars tighter to the point that his knuckles turned white.

"Ritsuko, please," he was pleading. "Please, just do it."

Ritsuko shook her head and remained motionless.

"For me…"

Still, she didn't move.

On the other side of the bars facing her, Tohru slid down to the ground, hugged his head in his hands and remained in that position for what seemed like forever. His shoulders shook occasionally.

Ritsuko's best friend sat in her corner studying the movement of the shiki with watchful eyes, lest the latter should try something. But when Tohru broke down, even she felt a wave of sadness in her heart.

_Why did this have to happen? S_he thought sadly.

When it seemed like Ritsuko wouldn't budge from her position, and hours must have gone by, Tohru slowly sat up. He turned around to see her still sitting there with folded hands on her laps, eyes closed as if she were meditating.

"You will never do it, will you?" he asked with finality.

"I won't. Please don't make me."

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and Ritsuko's eyes popped open. Tohru had opened the door to the jail. He wasn't making eye contact with her nor the human; instead, he just looked sideways as he murmured, "You can go, Yasuyo."

Both Ritsuko and Yasuyo sat there, stunned at the sudden change of heart on Tohru's part. Then, Ritsuko smiled, turned to her best friend and said, "Go."

With tears still streaming down her face, the black-haired woman stood up and carefully walked over. Glancing one more time at Ritsuko, her eyes showed gratitude and regret and sadness. Then, she averted her gaze toward Tohru and whispered, "Thank you. You're a good person."

Tohru never looked at her as he spoke, "Don't thank me yet. Now go." And Yasuyo stumbled out of the doorway into the field streaked by twilights beyond.

The brown-haired teen turned back to look at the older woman in the cell before stepping in himself and closing the door.

Ritsuko looked at him curiously.

"Are you scared?" he asked quietly.

She nodded.

"Come here." He bent down to take her hand, then guided her over to a far corner away from the cell's door.

There, they sat with her head resting on his strong shoulder, his arm intertwined with hers while his other hand clasped her pale one in his, and his head was leaning on hers.

"Thank you, Tohru," whispered Ritusko.

"For what?"

"For letting Yasuyo live." She smiled. "You're a really good person."

"Am I? I've bitten my best friend and turned him into a shiki and made him suffer just like what I'm doing to you right now."

She squeezed his hand. "It wasn't your fault. None of this is. We were just unfortunate to have this phenomenon befall us. But as it turns out, I'm glad to have you watch over me instead of the other shiki."

"Why's that?"

"Because you're a good person." She laughed lightly, then sighed. "I'm so tired, Tohru."

"Ritsuko…" He was trying hard to bite back the tears, to not let his voice crack.

"At least when I die, I'll die in the same village that I was born in. That was my dream you know." A tiny smile tugged at her lips. "That's why I couldn't say 'yes' when my boyfriend proposed to me. I turned him down because I couldn't bear leaving this place."

He swallowed back a lump in his throat. "You made a right choice."

"I know I did."

"Not just for you. For me, too."

"Tohru…" A surprised note could be heard in her weak voice.

"I-I like you, Ritsuko." And his voice cracked. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He was crying. Tears were streaming furiously down his cheeks. "I've always wanted to tell you that but… but I never had a chance and…"

A wider smile graced her pale features. "Ah, thank you, Tohru," she whispered softly. "I'm… very flattered… So, thank you…"

Silence.

"Ritsuko?"

"Tohru… I want to tell you that I like you too because you're a very nice guy." She chuckled softly. "Very nice guy, indeed."

He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Tohru…"

"Yes?"

"I'll wait for you, yes?"

It took him a few seconds to register what she was really asking. That was it for them. At least for her. That was it. She was reaching the end of her life thread, and it's slipping slowly through her fingers.

He squeezed her hands tighter. Tears couldn't stop the flow of time or ease her pain, but smiles would prevent her from suffering further. That, he did.

Tohru nodded and smiled through his curtains of tears. "Please wait for me. I promise I'll come find you, Ritsuko."

There was no audible response, only the slight movement of her fingers in his brown hand, then all went still. And he knew. He just knew.

Tohru turned her around and hugged her tightly, burying his face in her green locks to muffle his cries and silent screams.

'

'

The door was slammed open violently. Tohru's eyelids fluttered open slowly. He and Ritsuko were still sitting in that same position when a group of villagers came barging into the jail.

"T-Tohru!" one of them said in surprise, and when their eyes befell the figure next to him, they only widened. Some of the weapons were even lowered.

"She's dead," said Tohru hoarsely. "Please don't damage her body."

The villagers remained speechless and motionless as they watched the scene before them.

"Also," Tohru said in a low, barely audible voice. "After you've finished here, can you be kind enough to place us together? That's my last request to you as a human Tohru. Please?"

'

'

"_Ah, Tohru, you kept your promise." _

"_It was easy finding you, Ritsuko."_

_A bright smile broke out on her pretty face as she reached out to take his hand. "Welcome home, Tohru."_

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Shiki, or in any way am associated with the anime.

A/N: I love this couple and I wasn't really satisfied with the way they ended so I decided to write my own version. The beginning may look familiar and a bit repetitive but originally I wrote it like this and after some consideration, I realized it'd look weird and half-done if I took that part out, so I left it in. Well, I don't know if anyone will even read this; if you do then thank you!


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